My work shift today was pretty damn strange. It began when this gawky, clearly socially inept Indian guy came in thinking he was hired; it turned out he wasn't at all, but he asked me some questions about the job and then asked me if I was single, waited for Hoda and then tried to convince her to let him be a cook in the kitchen even though he has no experience. She acquiesced after a long while of pleading, and so he'll start on Monday. He's a weird one, but hell, if you need a job you need a job.
Once he left the only customer left in the restaurant was a black pastor whom I had not met before. Some lady called to place an order for delivery and the other waitress took the call; less than a minute later she hung up angrily. Apparently the lady had insulted her by saying that she wants to speak to someone who "actually speaks English." The waitress has a slight Hispanic/new York accent and was really infuriated by the comment. The pastor gave us a rather long semi-sermon about why people are so rude to others. At first I was disinclined to take what he said seriously; after all he is a pastor and I am not religious. He obviously has very partisan views. Yet some things that he said resonated with me. He spoke about how people are rude or do bad things to others because someone else had wronged them, and they feel the need to project that negativity onto someone else who may or may not deserve it. He said the only way to prevent this vicious cycle of malice is to resist the urge to pass along the anger, which sounds like a really good way to end up a push-over, but there's still some worth in that I think. How many people that you know project their bad experiences in past relationships onto their new ones? Like cheating for example. If you've been cheated on, are you more likely to cheat on the next person you date? I know a lot of people who would. I also know a few who wouldn't, and they give me a lot of hope and inspiration.
Anyway, then Pastor Art started asking me questions about where I'm from, what I'm studying, etc. I told him I'm an Anthropology major and somehow a discussion about academic success led to a very long discussion about familial obligations, and he learned my family history very quickly. Sometimes I wonder if I disclose too much personal stuff to strangers. But he's a pastor, and was very good at extracting information from me. So he learned my parents are divorced, and I asked him what he thought was the cause of the rising divorce rate. I actually just recently took a class about that sort of thing, so I know the sociological theories behind the rise. Women entering the workforce, working class men earning less money, fewer working class jobs are mostly cited as the causes. Pastor says it's the media. People are tempted by what the images they see on TV and in magazines, he says, and they pursue those images because they think they are better than what they have. So if you see a hot supermodel you'll want him/her more than what you've got. He says (and I believe this to be 100% true regardless of some of the other crazy shit he said) that people tend to gravitate to dominant ideals. If media is what creates dominant ideals, then the media determines what we want. I don't know if the media is entirely responsible, but I think it may play a very large role. Pastor thinks it is entirely responsible for what he calls the "dominant thought." He also said he thinks financial troubles are the other cause of divorce, which I think is much more pertinent. Couples fight when they can't pay the bills.
Another interesting thing we talked about which made me a bit uncomfortable, was what makes men more likely to cheat on their wives. I didn't ask him about this, but he decided I should know for the future. He used the example of a lawyer and his secretary (which I found to be extremely ironic for obvious reasons, Or maybe it's not so obvious to some--who the hell reads this anyway? Reveal yourselves)! Here was his example (with my commentary in bold :P ):
Okay, women need to be taken care of, too! Sheesh. Now I know a guy's not going to run off because a girl doesn't make him breakfast one morning (though I know that's what triggers my father to do so), so I know this example was kinda ridiculous, but I thought it was interesting anyway. Just for the irony.
So I talked to pastor for about 3 hours, and then had a pretty quick brain switch to the real subject of this entry: achievement. Remember Stephen Hoffman? I wrote about him in the entry right before this one. Here's a similar example (also from National Geo, sorry): About five years ago researchers discovered that the Iceman was murdered. They've been trying to piece together more details about the crime scene, and one researcher found four different types of blood stains on the Iceman's prehistoric garments; he believes that this means there were four men involved in the Iceman's murder. This sounds pretty damn plausible to me. Yet because his work has not yet been published, no body is taking his theory seriously. I feel that way too many serious scientists and researchers out there are being put down because they are not renowned. Some of them don't give a damn; they pursue their goals anyway, regardless of whether they think they'll succeed in the end or not. Yet I know that there are many who are intimidated by bureaucracy and hardheadedness. One of the best parts in the Handmaid's Tale is when Offred discovers a hidden mock-Latin engraving in her dresser when none of the handmaids were supposed to be allowed to read or write: "Nolite te bastardes carborundorum!" which means "Don't let the bastards get you down!" Don't let them stop you from reading and feeling and living, in the case of the handmaids--don't let them stop you from fulfilling your dreams in the case of everyone else who feels people are standing in their way. Because a lot of the time, the people standing in your way are robots following stupid rules, traditionalists--people who think that traditionally a popular name is more dependable than an unknown one, or that only doctors and lawyers make good money, or that if you're an Egyptian guy you can't marry a Lebanese girl. How STUPID are these traditions? Are you going to let some guy who believes in a brainless tradition stand in your way of pursuing your goals? I really hope not. I know I'm certainly not. If you don't believe in me then screw you, unless you've got a valid reason; tradition is NOT a valid reason. Not to mention---how contradictory is believing in tradition anyway?? We don't learn from history and yet we believe in stupid traditions that we carry on....what the fuck's up with that?! Some of the greatest scientists in history were ignored because they were unusual, because their ideas were new and they had no publications, and now we revere them. Yet we STILL continue ignoring those who have great ideas. AGHH!
That was all over the place; forgive me.
I spent some time talking to one of the cooks, Tomás, about education for Mexican immigrants. He's this really nice pudgy cherub-faced guy in his late 30's, and he was lamenting that he had no time or money to go to school here. We spoke in Spanish, so it was great practice for me. That made me really sad, too. Maybe one day if i have enough money I'll set up a non-profit school where older illegal immigrants can take classes...or maybe I'll go to Mexico and set something up there. I bet the administration wouldn't like that, but ya know, don't let the bastards get you down, right? :D
Once he left the only customer left in the restaurant was a black pastor whom I had not met before. Some lady called to place an order for delivery and the other waitress took the call; less than a minute later she hung up angrily. Apparently the lady had insulted her by saying that she wants to speak to someone who "actually speaks English." The waitress has a slight Hispanic/new York accent and was really infuriated by the comment. The pastor gave us a rather long semi-sermon about why people are so rude to others. At first I was disinclined to take what he said seriously; after all he is a pastor and I am not religious. He obviously has very partisan views. Yet some things that he said resonated with me. He spoke about how people are rude or do bad things to others because someone else had wronged them, and they feel the need to project that negativity onto someone else who may or may not deserve it. He said the only way to prevent this vicious cycle of malice is to resist the urge to pass along the anger, which sounds like a really good way to end up a push-over, but there's still some worth in that I think. How many people that you know project their bad experiences in past relationships onto their new ones? Like cheating for example. If you've been cheated on, are you more likely to cheat on the next person you date? I know a lot of people who would. I also know a few who wouldn't, and they give me a lot of hope and inspiration.
Anyway, then Pastor Art started asking me questions about where I'm from, what I'm studying, etc. I told him I'm an Anthropology major and somehow a discussion about academic success led to a very long discussion about familial obligations, and he learned my family history very quickly. Sometimes I wonder if I disclose too much personal stuff to strangers. But he's a pastor, and was very good at extracting information from me. So he learned my parents are divorced, and I asked him what he thought was the cause of the rising divorce rate. I actually just recently took a class about that sort of thing, so I know the sociological theories behind the rise. Women entering the workforce, working class men earning less money, fewer working class jobs are mostly cited as the causes. Pastor says it's the media. People are tempted by what the images they see on TV and in magazines, he says, and they pursue those images because they think they are better than what they have. So if you see a hot supermodel you'll want him/her more than what you've got. He says (and I believe this to be 100% true regardless of some of the other crazy shit he said) that people tend to gravitate to dominant ideals. If media is what creates dominant ideals, then the media determines what we want. I don't know if the media is entirely responsible, but I think it may play a very large role. Pastor thinks it is entirely responsible for what he calls the "dominant thought." He also said he thinks financial troubles are the other cause of divorce, which I think is much more pertinent. Couples fight when they can't pay the bills.
Another interesting thing we talked about which made me a bit uncomfortable, was what makes men more likely to cheat on their wives. I didn't ask him about this, but he decided I should know for the future. He used the example of a lawyer and his secretary (which I found to be extremely ironic for obvious reasons, Or maybe it's not so obvious to some--who the hell reads this anyway? Reveal yourselves)! Here was his example (with my commentary in bold :P ):
A lawyer notices one morning that his wife did not cook him breakfast. Clearly she's not
paying as much attention to him as she used to. (mmkay wtf?) So he goes to work. His
secretary watches him closely every morning; there's not much else for her to do so she
studies him; she knows what he likes and what he doesn't like. One day he tells her he likes
the color red. So she comes in one day wearing red, and what do you know?! He's
interested. He runs off with the secretary. Now what the wife SHOULD have done, was
never have let the communication slip. She should not have stopped paying attention to
him, and if something was wrong she should have mentioned it. When (you mean if...) he
told her about the flirty secretary she should have told him to tell her he's married. (he has
to be told to tell the secretary this?) The woman should keep an EYE on the husband!
(I wonder what this guy has to say about female infidelity...) That's the bottom
line. She has to take care of him and communication has to be the everlasting foundation of
the relationship.
paying as much attention to him as she used to. (mmkay wtf?) So he goes to work. His
secretary watches him closely every morning; there's not much else for her to do so she
studies him; she knows what he likes and what he doesn't like. One day he tells her he likes
the color red. So she comes in one day wearing red, and what do you know?! He's
interested. He runs off with the secretary. Now what the wife SHOULD have done, was
never have let the communication slip. She should not have stopped paying attention to
him, and if something was wrong she should have mentioned it. When (you mean if...) he
told her about the flirty secretary she should have told him to tell her he's married. (he has
to be told to tell the secretary this?) The woman should keep an EYE on the husband!
(I wonder what this guy has to say about female infidelity...) That's the bottom
line. She has to take care of him and communication has to be the everlasting foundation of
the relationship.
Okay, women need to be taken care of, too! Sheesh. Now I know a guy's not going to run off because a girl doesn't make him breakfast one morning (though I know that's what triggers my father to do so), so I know this example was kinda ridiculous, but I thought it was interesting anyway. Just for the irony.
So I talked to pastor for about 3 hours, and then had a pretty quick brain switch to the real subject of this entry: achievement. Remember Stephen Hoffman? I wrote about him in the entry right before this one. Here's a similar example (also from National Geo, sorry): About five years ago researchers discovered that the Iceman was murdered. They've been trying to piece together more details about the crime scene, and one researcher found four different types of blood stains on the Iceman's prehistoric garments; he believes that this means there were four men involved in the Iceman's murder. This sounds pretty damn plausible to me. Yet because his work has not yet been published, no body is taking his theory seriously. I feel that way too many serious scientists and researchers out there are being put down because they are not renowned. Some of them don't give a damn; they pursue their goals anyway, regardless of whether they think they'll succeed in the end or not. Yet I know that there are many who are intimidated by bureaucracy and hardheadedness. One of the best parts in the Handmaid's Tale is when Offred discovers a hidden mock-Latin engraving in her dresser when none of the handmaids were supposed to be allowed to read or write: "Nolite te bastardes carborundorum!" which means "Don't let the bastards get you down!" Don't let them stop you from reading and feeling and living, in the case of the handmaids--don't let them stop you from fulfilling your dreams in the case of everyone else who feels people are standing in their way. Because a lot of the time, the people standing in your way are robots following stupid rules, traditionalists--people who think that traditionally a popular name is more dependable than an unknown one, or that only doctors and lawyers make good money, or that if you're an Egyptian guy you can't marry a Lebanese girl. How STUPID are these traditions? Are you going to let some guy who believes in a brainless tradition stand in your way of pursuing your goals? I really hope not. I know I'm certainly not. If you don't believe in me then screw you, unless you've got a valid reason; tradition is NOT a valid reason. Not to mention---how contradictory is believing in tradition anyway?? We don't learn from history and yet we believe in stupid traditions that we carry on....what the fuck's up with that?! Some of the greatest scientists in history were ignored because they were unusual, because their ideas were new and they had no publications, and now we revere them. Yet we STILL continue ignoring those who have great ideas. AGHH!
That was all over the place; forgive me.
I spent some time talking to one of the cooks, Tomás, about education for Mexican immigrants. He's this really nice pudgy cherub-faced guy in his late 30's, and he was lamenting that he had no time or money to go to school here. We spoke in Spanish, so it was great practice for me. That made me really sad, too. Maybe one day if i have enough money I'll set up a non-profit school where older illegal immigrants can take classes...or maybe I'll go to Mexico and set something up there. I bet the administration wouldn't like that, but ya know, don't let the bastards get you down, right? :D
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